In Retrospect

Sometimes I write stuff and I'm too lazy to post it on the actual day I wrote it as evidenced below:

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I have a pair of navy blue corduroy pants. When I wear said pants, all the world is right and good and as it should be. I have not been able to fit myself in to those pants for some time now. This week, with the empowering cooler weather, I took that into account. I've had a very virtuous and forward-thinking week so far. Until today.

My first thought when waking up was that I was horribly hung over. It was one of those nascent, unthinking times of morning when you can think all sorts of things. I was also convinced that it was Xena's fault that the alarm clock wasn't set for 7:30 a.m. In reality, I hadn't had so much as a Tylenol PM the night before…in fact, I'd only drank water yesterday. As it turns out, I'm suffering from sinus ickyness.

I should have known it was coming. My friend Christin was complaining about the very same aches and sore throat the night before at dinner. That's another thing: dinner was delectable, but all but sabotaged my perfect streak of eating virtuously. We were originally going to go to PM which had some lovely offerings that fit beautifully into my plan…but because it was crazy busy (due, probably, to the fact that it's Nashville Originals week and they had a special prix fixe deal going on), so we all decided to go to Mafiaoza's. No. NO. No. I proceeded to eat fried cheese and a pizza entitled "The Last Request." I did, however, put my foot down to Mark and Christin about the salami, though. No salami or Italian sausage. They're of the devil. I wouldn't eat them if they were completely calorie free and loaded with antioxidants.

So I've been working out really hard every day this week…sweatin' it out on my elliptical in the office listening to old podcasts of The Writer's Almanac and New Yorker Fiction, taking the occasional walk with the husband after dinner. As I have class tonight and tomorrow night from 5 p.m. – 9 p.m. (basically I just leave my office on the third floor and report to a classroom on the first floor), I was supposed to get up at 7:30 today, ellipticize and go about my day. But I feel icky and didn't even want to stand to wait for the trolley this morning (long story—basically, parking on campus is non-existent for faculty and staff, quite the debacle). Oh well, I have been good this week. I'm sure two pieces of pizza and a cheese stick won't do me in for all eternity.

It's just that I was riding this wave of positivism…and those come about less and less for me in my old age. You can't mess with it in its embryonic stages. I've been really sweet to myself this week, not allowing any negative thoughts about myself or my body to creep through. I've felt really comfortable in my skin knowing that, though I might think I'm gross now, I'm effecting change in a positive manner.

Next time I will put my foot down and say, "No cheese tonight, children, we're going to Jason's Deli." That's the thing, though, there are so many great healthy places to eat around here, and I have it so much better than when I was in high school and junior high. In Parsons, I could only eat at Subway or, if I were in a restaurant that I didn't choose, I'd just eat chicken and a naked baked potato (not even salt). I would, however, indulge in a side of BBQ sauce that I’m sure was loaded with high fructose corn syrup. The point being, I have tons of healthy, non-depriving options around here, I just have to be an assertive little brat as I was in those days. Also, I'm lucky in that I've always had fairly healthy taste, so I don't really feel deprived when I'm eating well. It's the cheese and liquid calories that do me in.